Harper Fails to Invest in Juice Diversification

March 21, 2007

For immediate release

Toronto- therecreationalvegan is saddened by the fact the Canadian government has ignored calls to diversify the country’s fruit juice manufacturing sector. The government failed to support the move in the 2007 budget. Resolution 2007-01 was forwarded to Prime Minister Harper in an effort to put the public spotlight on the lack of variety on our nation’s juice shelves.

“Today is a dark day for juice” said vegetable95. “I thought today was going to be a turning point for our country – a day that would reverse year after year of the regular medley of orange, grapefruit and cranberry juice. No such luck.”

therecreationalvegan is also concerned about Canada losing out in the international juice market. “Azerbaijan, South Korea, and Australia are pushing ahead with juice variety”, said vegetable95, noting that Azerbaijan’s Bling Bling 100% Pomegranate Juice has hit Canadian stores with widespread approval. “We hope members of the House amend the budget to ensure juice remains a national priority”.

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Workers of the world unite

March 14, 2007

Did you know that in 2003 155 billion bees were exploited in the United States alone?1 Not only is the honey which bees need for their own purposes appropriated for human use, but countless bees are maimed in the process. The Recreational Vegan‘s bee expert (read daughter of hobby bee keeper) declined our request for an interview to discuss this interpretation of honey production. We interpret this as an indication of agreement by aquiescence.

More recently, hundreds of millions of bees have been disappearing from their hives across 24 states. This is entirely unlike anything that has been seen before in that dead bees are not found in the hives – the bees just disappear. Scientists have put forth a variety explanations for this unprecedented colony collapse such as viruses, fungi, and even poor nutrition. However, none of these explanations addresses the impact on bee behaviour of abysmal working conditions, or why dead bees are not found in the hives. Much more likely is that the bees have finally organized and are taking collective action against their employers until working conditions improve.

The Recreation Vegan would like to take this opportunity to express its solidarity for worker bees. We urge bee keepers everywhere to improve working conditions for the honey producing masses. This exploitation of bees must end.

1 Source: Vegan propoganda website. WARNING: This website depicts scenes of violence against honey bees and may offend readers with developed moral sensibilities.


Canada’s Food Guide: In the pockets of big eggplant?

February 18, 2007

The reader may be astonished, even offended, by the level of anti-eggplant sentiment by the authors of this website. It started off as a joke, but after continued reading and research we believe this is a serious issue that may be undermining the health of Canadian democracy.

On February 2, a Globe and Mail article discussed the intensive lobbying carried out by major food manufacturers to convince the government to include (or exclude in the case of, for example, “junk food”) their foods in the most recent version of Canada’s Food Guide. Now, we do not know for certain whether the eggplant industry was one of these lobbyists, but consider this: eggplant has little nutritional value, but the arrogant bright purple vegetable appears on the front cover between the clearly superior sweet potatos and berries.

Canada’s Food Guide


Message to China: End oppression of recreational vegans

February 16, 2007

Today marks the beginning our campaign to free therecreationalvegan.wordpress.com from Chinese government censorship.* People across the world have the right to read about recreational veganism: the joys of kale, tofu recipes, and vegan sex research shouldn’t be out of reach to 1.3 billion souls. We speculate that this censorship is directly related to our daring revelation that eggplant is a useless vegetable. Imagine the impact on the Chinese economy, a significant player in the eggplant market.

Although the pen is mightier than the sword, we cannot take on this superpower alone. So, we ask you to talk to your friends about this sometimes frightening issue, and collect signatures for our petition to the Canadian House of Commons to urge the Peoples Republic of China to stop censoring our website.

* Over the winter holidays, the author was in China and found out the website was censored.


Resolution 2007-01: Canadian Beverage Industry

February 12, 2007

Have you ever stood in front of a vending machine that offers nothing but orange juice, grapefruit juice, and dasani and wondered “is this all there is?” Anyone who has been to Japan, a land of plentiful vending machines sporting a dizzying array of interesting hot and cold beverages, knows that a better world is possible.

However, few are aware that this excellence in beverage manufacturing has been matched and possibly even surpassed in the English-speaking world. We need look no farther than Australia to see this. To properly appraise the situation, the Recreational Vegan commissioned an investigative report from an Australian fruit juice expert, an excerpt of which is reproduced below.

Australia is a very good country for juice products and fresh fruit. Much better than Japan, and probably better than Canada. The Japanese have a lot of vending machines, but their juices are a bit artificial for my tastes. In fact, they probably produce more “fruit drinks” than “fruit juices”, if you know what I mean. Also, their vending machines don’t sell a lot of juice products for some reason. You’ll find quite a few coffees in the average machine, a few icky electrolyte waters, fizzy drinks, etc. By comparison, our juice industry is very much into fresh juices.

The report goes on to describe the amazing ubiquity of high-quality fruit juice in Australia, something almost incomprehensible to the Canadian imagination.

Clearly, both Japan and Australia have beverage selection far superior to that of Canada. Although Japan has an advantage due to its vending machine culture, and Australia has an advantage due to its fruit-friendly climate, there is no compelling reason to believe that Canada can not compete. Saskatoon berry soda anyone?

In light of this evidence, the Fruit Juice Awareness Squad (FJAS) of the Recreational Vegan had no choice but to take immediate action. At a council meeting on February 10th 2007, Resolution 2007-01 was passed, urging the federal government to address this important issue. The resolution was sent to Prime Minister Harper via email today.

We encourage other blogs and individuals concerned about the state of fruit juice industry in Canada to support our resolution. Simply download the pdf, attach it to an email message explaining your support for the resolution, and send it to pm@pm.gc.ca. Together we can change the Canadian fruit juice industry for the better!

Our email is provided below as an example. Don’t forget to copy the Minister of Industry, Maxime Bernier.

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Anti-eggplant activism

December 9, 2006

Regular readers have been asking us, “so how do I, an average citizen, fight big eggplant?” To that we say, beat them at their own game — mass marketing!

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Download the Eggplant Pamphlet