Harper Fails to Invest in Juice Diversification

For immediate release

Toronto- therecreationalvegan is saddened by the fact the Canadian government has ignored calls to diversify the country’s fruit juice manufacturing sector. The government failed to support the move in the 2007 budget. Resolution 2007-01 was forwarded to Prime Minister Harper in an effort to put the public spotlight on the lack of variety on our nation’s juice shelves.

“Today is a dark day for juice” said vegetable95. “I thought today was going to be a turning point for our country – a day that would reverse year after year of the regular medley of orange, grapefruit and cranberry juice. No such luck.”

therecreationalvegan is also concerned about Canada losing out in the international juice market. “Azerbaijan, South Korea, and Australia are pushing ahead with juice variety”, said vegetable95, noting that Azerbaijan’s Bling Bling 100% Pomegranate Juice has hit Canadian stores with widespread approval. “We hope members of the House amend the budget to ensure juice remains a national priority”.

On eating insects

In a continuation of our campaign against speciesism, and as a daring protest against inequality/injustice, last week the authors of the Recreational Vegan decided to eat chocolate covered insects. We received a wide range of responses from our colleagues at the office, ranging from cries of outrage over seemingly abandonded vegan principles, to outright disgust, to girlish screams from otherwise manly men. Unfortunately, the point of the exercise – that all animals should be treated equally – seemed lost on the audience.

The novelty candy, which was received as an anti-Valentine’s Day gift, was not without its non-vegan charm. However, the larva and crickets which comprised the filling had been dried, resulting in an overly grainy texture. In my opinion, candy should be juicy, and this was definitely not the case here.

To find out more about the candy, the Recreational Vegan conducted a phone interview with the candy’s manufacturer, Hotlix Candy. Sadly, Hotlix staff refused to speak about the production process. Although they insisted that their crickets are treated humanely, this is impossible to independently verify. As a result, we cannot strongly recommend this product for ethical reasons. Also, the chocolate has milk in it.

Vegan Artist Profile: Julie Doiron

New Brunswick-based bilingual singer songwriter Julie Doiron has recently released her newest album, “woke myself up”. She plays with a band (Eric’s Trip) on this album, as opposed to the one woman show, which allows for the critical little bit of angry rock out. But, for those Rush fans, this is still a folk album. Overall, I’m a huge fan of Doiron. Her lyrics continue to be cute, clever and honest: “Don’t wanna be loved by you/and I never wanna be in your bed/and I never wanna be in your books/but I might play music for you.”

I saw her perform twice on recent appearances in Toronto, and I’m sorry to say I was disappointed. She tended to get nervous (even though she’s been playing 15+ years) and ended up chatting a lot, which prevented a longer set of music. That said, I won’t stop buying her CDs. Her previous disc “Goonight Nobody” is a must-have, and great introduction to Doiron. For those interested in listening to one of her French albums, “Desmorais” is perfect for a quiet and relaxing evening.

I learned at the last show that she is a vegan. On one of her moments of endless chatter, she spoke about the veganness of beer, a subject I’ll let the reader explore.

Julie Doiron’s albums are available at Soundscapes (for about $15) or wherever good music is sold. You can listen to some Doiron songs by searching her name on CBC Radio 3.

Workers of the world unite

Did you know that in 2003 155 billion bees were exploited in the United States alone?¹ Not only is the honey which bees need for their own purposes appropriated for human use, but countless bees are maimed in the process. The Recreational Vegan’s bee expert (read daughter of hobby bee keeper) declined our request for an interview to discuss this interpretation of honey production. We interpret this as an indication of agreement by aquiescence.

More recently, hundreds of millions of bees have been disappearing from their hives across 24 states. This is entirely unlike anything that has been seen before in that dead bees are not found in the hives – the bees just disappear. Scientists have put forth a variety explanations for this unprecedented colony collapse such as viruses, fungi, and even poor nutrition. However, none of these explanations addresses the impact on bee behaviour of abysmal working conditions, or why dead bees are not found in the hives. Much more likely is that the bees have finally organized and are taking collective action against their employers until working conditions improve.

The Recreation Vegan would like to take this opportunity to express its solidarity for worker bees. We urge bee keepers everywhere to improve working conditions for the honey producing masses. This exploitation of bees must end.

¹ Source: Vegan propoganda website. WARNING: This website depicts scenes of violence against honey bees and may offend readers with developed moral sensibilities.

Eat Pomegranate or Die

Have you eaten a pomegranate today? If not, you are lucky to be alive. A quick internet search reveals that consuming pomegranate products fights prostate and breast cancer, reduces hardening of the arteries, inhibits skin tumorigenesis, decreases the incidence of stroke or heart attack, inhibits cartilage degradation from osteoarthritis and is not toxic.

Given these findings and the recent decline in pomegranate juice prices in Toronto, QSB (Quantative Strategies Branch) is predicting a sharp decrease in hospital occupancy rates over the coming months. Just thank Azerbaijan and their exports of 100% organic “Bling Bling” pomegranate juice.

Next in this series: Animal Friendly Animals

Restaurant Review: Happy Buddha

Located at Yonge and Eglinton, Happy Buddha provides a good mid-town alternative to the 1.7 million sushi restaurants and Starbucks in the area. The restaurant is small, simple, but is visually appealing. The food is of the North Americanized Chinese variety, but delicious nonetheless. I was advised by the server that 2 main dishes plus one large soup to share was appropriate for the 3 of us. We ordered the hot and sour soup, “shrimp” with cashews and vegetables, and spicy eggplant. The soup was thick, not too spicy, and full of juicy tofu. The “shrimp” dish was excellent, probably because of the cashews – one of the world’s greatest nuts. Regarding the eggplant, regular readers will note the hypocritical nature of the order. I must say that the eggplant dish was superb, and was joined by green beans and tofu bits.

Overall, we agreed that the food could be described as “rich”. Dishes were in large portions, and averaged around $10, which led to a decent VfM showing.

VfM:

Deliciousness:

Fruit in meal: No

Ambience:

Happy Buddha is located at 2366 Yonge Street, just north of Eglinton. Dinner for 3, tax and tip, $45. Alcohol is not available.

Self-sufficiency: update

With Ontario in the crushing grip of a fuel shortage, the impact of which is already being felt in the trucking industry, Torontonians should prepare for a possible increase in produce prices. In my case the situation is all the more dire following a drought in my apartment over the Christmas holidays which killed one third of my existing lemon orchard.

To help cope with the situation I have decided to redouble my efforts to become self-sufficient and am pushing forward with in-apartment apple production. Given that the apple trees are currently about 1cm high, it remains to be seen whether the first harvest will come in time for the current crisis. Nonetheless the long-term benefits of self-sufficiency are substantial. Readers unassociated with the economics of production may wonder if it is possible to grow enough crops in a one bedroom apartment to sustain oneself. However, it should be noted that the ultimate outcome depends on the elasticity of substitution between arable land and other inputs such as capital, technology, sunlight, and enthusiasm. Strangely, there appears to be a gap in the empirical literature on this topic making it impossible to draw any substantive conclusions at this point. The experiment continues!

Soy Breakfast in Chinatown

In December, I posted about the delicious warm soy milk and donut breakfast so common in China. I discovered that several restaurants in Toronto’s (downtown) Chinatown serve this breakfast. For one to have this experience, one must get over the large (dead) animals hanging in front of the window. I checked out Goldstone Noodle Restaurant, a popular diner type joint on Spadina. The food, a long plain donut and a bowl of warm sweet soy milk, was fantastic and cheap (under $8 for two people including tea). Basic story: brunch on Bloor or College is overrrated.

Goldstone is located at 266 Spadina, just south of Dundas. When ordering, make sure to ask for a bowl of soy milk. Otherwise, you may end up with a cup — highly unsuitable for donut dipping.

Canada’s Food Guide: In the pockets of big eggplant?

The reader may be astonished, even offended, by the level of anti-eggplant sentiment by the authors of this website. It started off as a joke, but after continued reading and research we believe this is a serious issue that may be undermining the health of Canadian democracy.

On February 2, a Globe and Mail article discussed the intensive lobbying carried out by major food manufacturers to convince the government to include (or exclude in the case of, for example, “junk food”) their foods in the most recent version of Canada’s Food Guide. Now, we do not know for certain whether the eggplant industry was one of these lobbyists, but consider this: eggplant has little nutritional value, but the arrogant bright purple vegetable appears on the front cover between the clearly superior sweet potatos and berries.

Message to China: End oppression of recreational vegans

Today marks the beginning our campaign to free therecreationalvegan.wordpress.com from Chinese government censorship.* People across the world have the right to read about recreational veganism: the joys of kale, tofu recipes, and vegan sex research shouldn’t be out of reach to 1.3 billion souls. We speculate that this censorship is directly related to our daring revelation that eggplant is a useless vegetable. Imagine the impact on the Chinese economy, a significant player in the eggplant market.

Although the pen is mightier than the sword, we cannot take on this superpower alone. So, we ask you to talk to your friends about this sometimes frightening issue, and collect signatures for our petition to the Canadian House of Commons to urge the Peoples Republic of China to stop censoring our website.

* Over the winter holidays, the author was in China and found out the website was censored.