Notice of Retraction

Some readers may have noticed that at approximately 11:55 pm E.D.T. today, Vegetarian Haven’s VfM (Value for Money) ranking on this website dropped by one-half avocado. This change comes as a direct result of increased competition in vegan food production from China. Following visits to a trio of low-priced vegan restaurants in Chinatown (namely Buddha’s Vegetarian Foods, Full Moon, and Bo De Duyen), it became clear that an immediate revaluation of VfM rankings on this website was necessary.

Although protectionists will likely clamour for subsidies to rankings for restaurants outside of Chinatown, we believe that interventionist policies such as these would undermine competition in the market place and would be detrimental to consumer welfare. As a result, we have elected to allow VfM rankings to adjust flexibly to changes in market conditions. We apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused for our readers.

Restaurant Review: Buddha’s Vegetarian Foods

Buddha’s Vegetarian Foods may just be the most depressing restaurant in the GTA. It looks like a hastily converted bathroom: grey tile floors with white tiles partway up a white wall, all basked in the chilling glow of fluorescent lights. The only music during my visit came from the hum of a nearby refrigerator.

Feeling fairly hungry after a long day at the office, I ordered a wonton appetizer, a small corn and tofu soup, and a noodle dish. The soup came first, and I was shocked to find out that “small” at Buddha’s Vegetarian means “approx. 1 litre”. Perhaps something was lost in translation. A heap of noodles with meagre amounts of bok choy, mushrooms, and tofu soon followed. Wondering how one person could possibly be expected to eat so much, I began to wonder if I was the subject of some strange joke.

Already stuffed to the bursting point, I began to hope that the waitress had forgotten the wontons. No such luck. I was presented with no less than a dozen of them, each one the size of a pancake. Unable to even make a dent in the meal, I left the restaurant with a large doggy bag.

As one might expect, there was a volume/quality tradeoff. The soup was bland, the main course contained equal parts noodles and salt, and the wontons were pedestrian at best.

Suffice to say this restaurant is not rated great by the Recreational Vegan¹, unless of course you are either a sumo wrestler looking to put on some weight, or perhaps a hungry family of four with $15 between you. Fortunately there are no shortage of alternatives, as Buddha’s Vegetarian is nestled directly between the wonderful 668 Café and Full Moon restaurants (reviews forthcoming).

¹ This review is based on a single visit to the restaurant. The usual small sample caveats apply.

Rankings (out of 5 avocados):

Deliciousness:

VfM:

Fruit in meal: No

Ambience: 0

Buddha’s Vegetarian Foods, 666 Dundas St. W., Feed a family of four for $15.

Restaurant Review: King’s Café

As a restaurant that proudly proclaims 95% veganism on its menu, one would expect King’s Café to be the perfect restaurant for economically rational %95 vegans. The restaurant was put to the test with a recent lunch-time visit.

Located in the hippy heartland of Toronto (i.e., Kensington Market), King’s Café serves vegan asian fusion cuisine with a sprinkling of hippy revisionist history. According to the menu,

“Vegetarian diets have been with us since ancient times. In face [sic], our body is designed to eat grains and fruits. Modern man suffer [sic] illnesses that were unheard of ages ago. And one of the reasons for this is due to diet.”

While the recreational vegan supports a return to the superior diet and health of our vegan gorilla ancestors, the making of such claims without the support of proper econometric analysis is regrettable.

As for the food, the restaurant serves a wide variety of beautifully presented dishes. The soups are especially noteworthy, with their delicious broth and generous portions. However, many of the entreés are not entirely compelling, lacking the creativity of competing restaurants such as Vegetarian Haven on Baldwin.

Rankings (out of 5 avocados):

Deliciousness:

VfM:

Fruit in meal: No

Ambience:

King’s Café, 192 Augusta Ave., 95% vegan. Average main less than $10.

Restaurant Review: Urban Herbivore

Nothing says Sunday afternoon Kensington market like a light meal. And nothing says light meal like a vegan soup, salad, and/or sandwich. Urban Herbivore, in the of the market, is a great stop before hitting the fruit stands. Upon my last visit, I was delighted with the barbeque tofu sandwich I ordered. They have hearty soups and relatively filling salads, and combinations are available. The restaurant itself has a clean feeling to it, a toned down version of Fressen, who share owners. Seating involves bar style seats by the street-facing window and a large square wooden table. In terms of VfM, it’s not soup and salad prices. Expect to pay minimum of $8-10 for a bite. That said, ingrediently speaking, it’s not soup and salad quality.

Rankings (out of 5 avocados):

Deliciousness:

VfM:

Fruit in meal: No

Ambience:

Urban Herbivore is located at 64 Oxford St. (at Augusta) in Toronto’s Kensington Market.

Restaurant Review: Annapurna

The Indian restaurant Annapurna has the distinction of being the oldest vegetarian eatery in Toronto. It is also by far the kookiest.¹ The restaurant is run by a cult which worships the Indian mystic Sri Chinmoy. Judging by the naive slogans stamped on sugar packets and the plethora of propaganda magazines which are sometimes forced upon patrons dining alone, the cult’s primary goal seems to be world domination through mind control, happy thoughts, and vegetarian cuisine.

The food is plentiful and cheap. The Indian Assortment provides an obscenely large dinner for $17. Unfortunately, price is an indicator of quality in this case and the food is only a few notches above cafeteria level. But for strong-willed individuals with sufficiently robust tinfoil hats, huge appetites, and a limited budget, this restaurant is highly recommended.

Rankings (out of 5 avocados):

Deliciousness:

VfM:

Fruit in meal: No

Ambience: (for a pleasant tackiness)

Words of Wisdom from Sri Chinmoy: A moment’s love can and shall make the world perfect.

Annapurna, 1085 Bathurst, ovo-lacto vegetarian and vegan dishes. Average main less than $10.

¹ In fact, the restaurant is more or less uncontested in both fields following the closure of Hey Good Cooking.

Restaurant Review: Happy Buddha

Located at Yonge and Eglinton, Happy Buddha provides a good mid-town alternative to the 1.7 million sushi restaurants and Starbucks in the area. The restaurant is small, simple, but is visually appealing. The food is of the North Americanized Chinese variety, but delicious nonetheless. I was advised by the server that 2 main dishes plus one large soup to share was appropriate for the 3 of us. We ordered the hot and sour soup, “shrimp” with cashews and vegetables, and spicy eggplant. The soup was thick, not too spicy, and full of juicy tofu. The “shrimp” dish was excellent, probably because of the cashews – one of the world’s greatest nuts. Regarding the eggplant, regular readers will note the hypocritical nature of the order. I must say that the eggplant dish was superb, and was joined by green beans and tofu bits.

Overall, we agreed that the food could be described as “rich”. Dishes were in large portions, and averaged around $10, which led to a decent VfM showing.

VfM:

Deliciousness:

Fruit in meal: No

Ambience:

Happy Buddha is located at 2366 Yonge Street, just north of Eglinton. Dinner for 3, tax and tip, $45. Alcohol is not available.

Soy Breakfast in Chinatown

In December, I posted about the delicious warm soy milk and donut breakfast so common in China. I discovered that several restaurants in Toronto’s (downtown) Chinatown serve this breakfast. For one to have this experience, one must get over the large (dead) animals hanging in front of the window. I checked out Goldstone Noodle Restaurant, a popular diner type joint on Spadina. The food, a long plain donut and a bowl of warm sweet soy milk, was fantastic and cheap (under $8 for two people including tea). Basic story: brunch on Bloor or College is overrrated.

Goldstone is located at 266 Spadina, just south of Dundas. When ordering, make sure to ask for a bowl of soy milk. Otherwise, you may end up with a cup — highly unsuitable for donut dipping.

Restaurant review: Tojo’s

A common misconception among those unfamiliar with the recreationally vegan aesthetic is that non-vegan foods are forbidden. In actual fact, recreational veganism is defined by the occasional indulgence in non-vegan foods. And where better to indulge than at Tojo’s, Vancouver’s preeminent sushi restaurant?

Upon entering the restaurant you will be greeted by the entire staff in the usual Japanese manner – everyone yelling in unison “welcome” in Japanese. Unless you pay extra for a seat at the sushi bar, you will likely only catch a glimpse of the famous Hidekazu Tojo, inventor of the California Roll. However, if you don’t have a dire need to converse with the chef, request to be seated at a table. You probably won’t be able to convince him to convert to veganism anyway.

The best thing to do is to ask for omakase, which is essentially just a set menu. For $80 you receive a delicious and artfully presented five course meal of raw and cooked fish in various guises. Our meal included spring rolls, cooked fish, sushi, and maki rolls. The amazing buttery quality of the fish, melting in your mouth on contact, must be experienced to be believed. A vegetarian option is also available, and will be reviewed pending a return visit to the restaurant.

One of the most pleasing aspects of the restaurant is the unpretentious atmosphere, considering the quality of the restaurant. The tables look like they have been stolen from Denny’s and many of the customers dress as if they’ve just returned from a late afternoon hike.

Deliciousness:

VfM:

Ambience:

Tojo’s, #202-777 West Broadway, moving to 1133 West Broadway in January, Vancouver. $55 vegetarian meal, $80+ large vegequarium meal, excluding drinks. Reservations advised.

Of course eating fish comes at a price, and according to this article that price might be higher than you think. In remembrance of the fish who died for this meal and vegequarium meals everywhere, I would like to share the following poem, reprinted here with permission of the poet.

THE FISHSTICK POEM
R.E. Glazov

I.

I jingle of fishsticks,
Entombed in wet cardboard coffins,
Kept in rigor mortis by chloroflourocarbon coils,
And I jingle of schools
their bodies torn and rearranged
Into bricks, with
rough breadcrumbs and not smooth, gentle, scales.

I mourn the fishsticks.
I lay wreaths of parsley and fennel at their coffins.
Safety in numbers
wasn’t safe enough.
Now they’re entombed in a mausoleum
where the metal is cold and clammy
and the metal doesn’t let go.

On moonlit nights, they dance
the Danse Macabre,
the proletarian fish united
with their employers
and their employer’s lawyers.

II.

And they were the best fish of their generation,
…who harpooned their wives in Mexico at a game of William Tell,

who bubbled dissent and wrote Fishermen & Punish: the Birth of the Aquarium,

who contracted syphillis, tuberculosis, VD, and gill-rot from seedy
corners of the ocean,

And who killed these fish?

Which Salome betrayed them,
served their heads on plates?

Was it Herod, was it Holofernes,
Charles de Gaulle,
Ronald Reagan…

Why was the revolution betrayed?

Oh why?

III.

Oh, it follows that they were lambs lead to the slaughter,

Oh, it follows that they were victims of the New Economy,

Oh, it follows that in carcereal society,
hospitals,-workplaces,-schools,-and-even-boxes-of-fish-fingers come to
resemble prisons.

Oh, they were the babies in the bulrushes,

Oh, they were the fishers of men,
Christ multiplied and massacred them,

They fled to Egypt, from the frying pan and into the fire,

L-O-V-E-(thumb) (thumb)-H-A-T-E

…Que fue en Granada el crimen
…!Pobre Granada! – en su Granada…

They were there when Goya was persecuted by the Spanish Inquisition for
painting La Maja Desnuda,

They were on the dinner plate in “Saturno devorando a su hijo”

But what am I thinking about?

They were just fish!

Tuna prepared to resemble a maki roll – deep fried on the outside, raw on the inside.

Restaurant Review: Le Commensal

As was discovered long ago by economic theorists, rational consumers always prefer the widest possible array of products from which to choose. Rational vegans need look no farther than Le Commensal to understand this principle. Tucked away in Toronto’s predominantly non-vegan downtown core, this wonderful oasis offers a vegetarian and vegan buffet.

Price is by weight, so try as many different dishes as possible. Although the price to quantity ratio is high for the main course (resulting in a low VfM), you can offset this with the excellent desserts which tend to be delicious and light-weight. Le Commensal is likely to be a hit with your heathen meat-eating friends as they can see what they are getting. It also boasts a convenient location, being within walking distance of theatres, the symphony, and Eaton Centre. The restaurant fairs poorly on the ambience scale due to its cafeteria style atmosphere. This would be compensated by the live music, if it were any good. All things considered, Le Commensal easily achieves the rating of ‘great’.

Rankings (out of 5 avocados):

Deliciousness:

VfM:

Fruit in meal: Not really (salad bar)

Ambience:

Le Commensal, 655 Bay St. (Entrance on Elm) Ovo-lacto vegetarian and vegan dishes. Average main $15 – 20. Licensed.

Restaurant Review: Fressen

Fressen is undoubtedly Toronto’s most upscale vegetarian (vegan, in fact) restaurant. The clientele range from income-from-investment-earning vegetarians to third date to meat eaters looking for an experience. The name fressen itself if worth discussing. Luckily we have an (anonymous) German correspondent to fill us in:

The normal verb for “eat” is “essen,” while “fressen” is usually used to describe the eating done by animals. It’s also used to describe the eating done by people, but then it’s usually more vulgar usage, i.e., slang with coarse/rude connotations. So while a little over the top, it’s not totally inappropriate for a vegan restaurant.

It should also be noted that in Yiddish, fressen is commonly used to describe eating happily and plentifully, which was perhaps the intended meaning.

But back to the review. A few months ago, Fressen switched menus, from a standard entree based menu to tapas. I loved the old menu – sharing an appetizer ($8 ish) with a friend along with an entree ($15-$22) left me feeling full. On the new menu, restaurant-goers are advised to get 2-4 items (all $9) per person and share. Unfortunately, I found the meal less filling, leading me to think the Yiddish word chutzpah appropriately describes the restaurant owner’s choice of fressen as a name. Fressen’s brunch menu has taken a similar turn for the worse, with smaller meals and less selection.

Make no mistake, the food here is delicious and presented so beautifully that you’re torn on whether to eat it. The mushroom and spinach filo pastry is delicate and savoury. The gluten roast has a meaty composition, capable of pulling meat eating friends from the dark side. The eggplant pizza tart was creative, clever and good, despite the questionable use of eggplant in society. I would characterize the soups ($6) as nothing above adequate, but an appetizer nonetheless. An added bonus is the restaurant’s organic wines and freshly squeezed juices, as well as their rich dessert drinks. If you go for brunch, don’t miss the delicious muffins.

In terms of quality, Fressen is a leader. The ingredients are mostly organic, and the restaurant cooks everything upon demand, so prepare to wait a bit before eating. Before the menu changeover, I would venture to say that I think I would put Fressen at the top. But now, quality/quantity per dollar is lower, which you will see is reflected in the number of avocados it receives for value for money (VfM).

Rankings (out of 5 avocados):

Deliciousness:

VfM:

Fruit in meal: Occasionally

Ambience:

Fressen is located at 478 Queen St. W (at Bathurst). Meals for about $30 per person, excluding alcohol.